Occasionally some children may stay without parents, outside their own family. Relatives cannot always accept these children into their families, and then the children end up in state institutions or in foster families. The experience of raising children left without parental care in foster families is interesting. We’ve had the conversation with Galina, a wonderful woman and mother of five children, three of whom are adopted.
- Tell us about your family.
We have a strong loving family, it’s going to be a 30 years anniversary in November, which is called Pearl wedding. There are two adult daughters in our family. They are independent, live separately from us. Now my husband and I are raising adopted children.
- How did you decide to create a foster family?
In 2008, on the radio, we heard stories about children who were left without parental care. Specialists from the Department of Education invited those wishing to take children to their families during the summer holidays. My husband and I were interested in this. He comes from a large family living in the countryside. The school was far away, so he and his brother lived and studied at a boarding school during the study period. He has the experience of living outside the family.
We visited the guardianship authorities and the specialists explained that it was possible not only to take children for summer holidays, but also to get a job as a foster parent, an educator, to create a foster family.
My husband and I made a decision quickly and collected all the necessary documents in three days.
We have two daughters, and we planned to take girls. But after I described a child’s desired age, I was informed that only one boy fit the description. My husband and I thought about it and agreed to accept it. Thus a son appeared in our family.
And six months later, an adopted 5 years old daughter appeared in our family. She was taken by an Italian family during the summer holidays, and after 9 years the couple adopted the girl. Now she lives in Italy in a loving family.
Then I had come up with the idea of taking several siblings in a family. Soon, through acquaintances, we learned that there was a 6-year-old girl and her 4-year-old younger brother in the orphanage. Then my husband and I filled out the necessary documents very quickly and, after receiving permission from the Department of Education, in a few weeks they were accepted into our family.
It should be noted that the parents of some of our adopted children were once brought up in state institutions. It was difficult for them to cope with the upbringing of their children without proper parental care. It is unfortunate that the relationship of our adopted children with their biological parents has been interrupted.
Now our eldest is 17 years old and in college. The younger ones are 10 and 8 years old, they study quite successfully at the gymnasium doing their homework on their own.
- What difficulties do you face?
Children did not immediately accept, it took time to earn trust. They missed their parents, told a lot of good things about them. Sometimes their stories did not correspond to reality, but we all understood and showed patience.
Now all the children call me and my husband “mom” and “dad”. We support them in their hobbies. We can also count on their help. The eldest son, in addition to studying at college, works part-time at KFC, helps with younger children. For example, he can take them to the clinic, pick them up after classes. The daughter is very responsible and independent, she knows when and who needs help. The youngest son is a leader by origin. But sometimes he can attract attention by not quite good deeds. Especially outside the family, when he is in the camp or school. The teachers try to include him in contests, competitions and active events. They are very helpful and ready to interact with us. Many thanks to them for their support, endurance and timely assistance with their studies.
In general, we can say that all children are motivated by the family. We strive to maintain trusting relationships. The husband includes children in family household chores: they cook together and help him in the countryside. They also love to sing karaoke with dad.
Many people respect our position in life and our choice.
- What do you expect from children in the future?
Most importantly, we try to teach them to be responsible. We have to solve many issues to create conditions for independent living. Now we are making efforts to ensure that the eldest son is provided with his own housing. Teaching children financial literacy is also important.
We use our eldest daughters as the example. They live independently and fully support themselves. Children perceive them as their older sisters, they are not embarrassed by different surnames and patronymics. Relationships between all children are cordial.
- What would you recommend to people who are thinking about helping children without parents?
I lead an active life, participate in various social events. Often present at Board of Education meetings, I am invited to share my experience as a foster parent. I notice that people want to take the child "for themselves." But I believe that it is important for any child to learn to be independent. And these children, for the most part, do not have the support of close relatives, so it is important to instill skills that will help them practically cope with life's tasks on their own.
Interviewed by Natalia Shekh
For information
There are 5 forms of family placement for children left without parental care in our country:
adoption
guardianship
foster family
family-type orphanage
foster care
If you are thinking of adopting a child into a family, giving him your care, you can contact the National Adoption Center or your district Department of Education for more detailed information on the procedure for processing documents for the chosen form of family placement.
